Another One Bites The Dust
by ice around the moon
Summary: When Alvin goes to Simon, he convinces his brother to make a bet. Simon find's out very quickly that 'The L Word' may not be as easy to say as he thought it was. Simon-Jeanette. One-Shot. Fic for my epicly-epic beta reader, shortnsweet615!


**Disclaimer: I own a pair of yellow earbuds and an obsession with Japanese dudes. No munks.**

**This is for my beta, shortnsweet615, a.k.a Shannon! She never fails to put up with my ranting, whining and grammerical errors:) Originally, this was supposed to be ploted around Christmas, but my plot bunnies went a little nutters over my Starbucks gift card and it was put on hold. Hope you still enjoy it, love! If you don't, then I'll be glad to send you one of my Kyouya clones, I'm sure that will make up for it;)**

**888**

_**Another One Bites the Dust**_

**Ice Around The Moon**

**888**

Alvin met the golden glare of his own eyes reflecting in the mirror with a scowl. He stared at his hunched shoulders that were tightly coiled and his small arms that were crossed hard over his tiny chest. He was sickened with himself. Absolutely sickened. He could hardley even look at himself he was so disgusted.

He had broken one of the very few rules that he would always follow. They were the rules, the very essence, of his life. He could allow himself to break any other rule that had ever been made, but these.

The first one: Keep all of his written down pick-up lines away from Simon, because his brother would not hesitate to use them against him as blackmail material.

Second: Never sing in the shower ever again. His cousin, Toby, wouldn't think twice about posting a video of him singing "Don't Stop Believing" on Youtube, and the munk had a cool, smooth image to keep.

And the last, most important one: Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever...say the L word.

Freaking _looooooove._

Sure, his brothers and Dave were the exception to the last rule. Even Alvin wasn't bad enough to not tell his family he loved them. They meant everything to him. Always had, always would.

But telling a girl he loved her? A chipette? _Brittany?_

Alvin could picture all the bawling fan girls who would be dressed in black for the rest of their lives. Brittany would be receving so many death threats. It just couldn't be done.

He had been so close to saying that horrible word last night. The scene had been just like "Kiss the Girl" from The Little Mermaid, complete with fireflies, evening light, but without the singing Jamaican crab. If Sebastian had been there, he would have fallen head over heel's for that chipette.

Alvin groaned, thumping his tiny fist against the mirror. "You're losing it, man!" he whispered, eyes wide at himself. "You gotta be more careful."

"Careful about what?"

Alvin whirled around, looking down from the bathroom counter. His taller, leaner, blue hooded brother, Simon, crooked his head up at him.

An evil, mischievous smirk covered Alvin's face.

Simon's brow's scrunched together.

"Come hither, Simon," Alvin cackled, gesturing for his brother to leap. The sapphire eyed chipmunk blinked slowly. "Um, okay," he said. He crouched down, his chest brushing the tiles of the floor, his arms coiled. The munk inhaled slowly, then pounced, aiming for the edge of the counter. He smoothly pulled himself up, then brushed off his hoodie. "Yes?" he said in a cautious voice. Alvin rubbed his clawed hands together, his amber eyes narrowed. "I have a proposition for you, brother."

"I'm not going to take the blame for the bottle rocket accident, Alvin," Simon said quickly, his hard seriousness etched into his voice.

Alvin rolled his bright eyes. "I wasn't gonna ask you to, Si." Simon arched a brow, lowering his glasses down the bridge of his nose. "Then go on." Alivin smirked broadly, resting his weight to one side of his body. He crossed his arms as he sighed, "See, I have a _tiny_ dilemma with Brittany."

"Oh, munk."

"I know!" Alvin said with a poor sigh, shaking his head. "You see...secretly, bro to bro, I'm just a _little _bit nutters about her."

"I'm shocked." Simon replied in a flat, dry tone.

"Yeah, it's freaking me out too, but you can't go and tell the press," Avin said in a whisper. "I'll try to hold myself back, Alvin." Simon muttered with a small roll of his eyes.

"Okay, awesome," Alvin said. "Because I need you to get rid of her."

Simon arched a brow. "Say what?"

Alvin broke down, bawling in dry sobs as he fell to his knee's. "Gas that gorgeous chipette and send her to Guam! Change her into a zombie! No, change her into a dude!"

"Alvin-"

"Just do _something!_ I can't say that word Si, I just can't!"

Simon frozed. His eyes slowly narrowed as he pulled Alvin from his hoodie. "This is about the L word, isn't it?"

"It's not just a word, Simon!" Alvin said, running his claws through his fur. "You're committing to someone! I can hardly say commit, let alone agree to it!"

"Alvin, plenty of guys tell girls they love them," Simon explained patiently. "If they can do it in elementary school, then I'm sure you'll be just fine."

"It's not that simple, Si," Alvin said in a grave tone, sagging his shoulders. "You can't just say it."

Simon nodded slowly. "Yes, you can."

Alvin glared. "No, you-" The chipmunk cut himself off. He thought for a moment, then slowly smirk at his brother once more.

"...What?" Simon asked nervously.

Alvin slowly stood. He walked up to his brother while drumming his fingers together, his claws clicking quietly. Simon felt the urge to gulp. "I'll tell Brittany I love her," Alvin said quietly in a slow, daring tone. "If you tell Jeanette you love her."

The moment quickly became one of the few times that Simon stuttered. His eyes grew gravely wide as he tried to think of a way to manly tell Alvin that this bet was _not _a win-win. Alvin's smirk only grew wider as the seconds ticked on. His eyes narrowed, a threat, as he said, "What, Si?" Simon shrugged, rubbing his arm. "You said it was easy," Alvin continued. "Knowing how smart youare, this should be a piece of chocolate cake with a slice of Alvin on top." Simon glared darkly. Alvin arched a brow, now showing his shiny teeth in his smile.

"Fine," Simon hissed through tight lips.

Alvin grinned radiantly. He cackled softly as he hopped down from the sink and scampered to the door. "Wait as long as you want," he insisted.

Simon huffed. "Thanks."

"Any time!" Alvin sang as his disapeared behind the door. Simon curled his lips over his teeth in a snarl. He relaxed his expression and let his shoulders drop low. He sighed heavily, shaking his head. Heglanced at himself in the mirror, saying, "What the munk have you gotten yourself into, idiot?"

**888**

That weekend, Dave dropped the chipmunks off at the chipette home so he could go to a business meeting in New York.

Eleanor and Theodore had gone outside to catch fireflies, Brittany was staying locked in her room while shestabbed an Alvin plush-toy, and the red hooded munk himself was hiding from the chipette under the floorboards.

Simon and Jeanette had taken up residence in the living room with an episode of Spongebob. The munk had argued with himself about going under the house and hiding with Alvin, but he decided to 'munk up' and prove his brother wrong. But Simon was having trouble even convincing himself.

Jeanette gave a long sigh. Simon glanced at her. "What's wrong?" The chipette shrugged, rubbing the back of her neck. "Oh, just Brittany," she gave him an exasperated smile. "She's gone a little nutters, if you haven't noticed.

"What's she freaking out about?"

Once again, Jeanette shrugged. "Just something a reported said to her," she said in a slightly brooding tone. "Something about her and Alvin." The chipette casted her indigo eyes down with a shake of her head. "She can't stop worrying about what people think of her. From the very beginning we knew things like this would happen, but..." Jeanette gave a sad smile. "Brittany's a little addicted to the attention."

Simon made a sympethetic noise. "Just like Alvin."

Jeanette laughed wryly, nodding. "Yeah, just like him."

"So, what did the press say to set Brittany off?"

"Eh, something about the L word," Jeanette explained. Simon's eyes widened for a moment. _She can't even say the word. Crap. Tastic._

"Ah," Simon said in a high voice. He mentally pimp-slapped himself and cleared his throat. "Well, I heard The Brittster said...the ah, L word to Alvin."

Jeanette laughed, rolling her eyes. "Where did you hear that? The Alvinater or a teen magazine?"

Simon blinked. "She didn't say it?"

"Of course not!" Jeanette laughed. "Brittany hardly tells _me _she loves me, what makes you think she'd say it to Alvin so soon?" Simon's face flustered as he gave a wild shrug. "I dunno," he admitted. "Alvin was just talking aannn..." _Shut up, shut up! She'll kill you if you tell her about that bet with Alvin! Shut up, shut up!_

"Annnd?" Jeanette said.

_Play it cool, Seville. __Be__ the Alvinater. Lie, lie, lie, lielielielie-_

"Oh, he just offered me a...proposition is all," Simon mumbled quietly. Jeanette gave him a sly look of curiousness. "He, um..." Simon swallowed. _Man, this is such a moment I need to chew it over with Twix. _"...Ah-"

"Spit it out, munk," Jeanette insisted.

Simon gave her a mild glare. "Well, he was...nervous, about seeing her again, and he asked me...to...tell someone I-loved-them-before-he-did." He finished the last part so quickly he was out of breah.

Jeanette's expression stayed roguish, which was beginning to worry him. The chipette suddenly laughed loudly. Simon blinked. "What?" he asked with narrowed eyes.

Jeanette chuckled and whipped her eyes. "Nothing, just irony." Simon stared at her. Jeanette waved a hand at him. "Oh, just something Brittany said. She offered me a proposition too." She raised her eyebrows up and down.

Simon's eyes sparkled widely. "Oh, _really?"_

Jeanette grinned. "before you even think about it," she said quietly. "You've already confessed your undying love for me."

Simon paused his quiet cackles of evil laughter. "Wha...?"

Jeanette smirked. "Do you remember last month when you have to get one of your teeth pulled?" Simon shuttered at the horrifying memory, but nodded. "Do you remember how drugged up you were on laughing gas?"

"No, not really."

Jeanette laughed. "Well, you were. And when we were going home, you ah...kind of had a total Soap Opera/Edward Cullen moment."

"...I did?"

Jeanette nodded. Simon waited for her to crack. Her expression seemed pretty fixed. "How do I know you're not-" he started.

"You said you dreamed of me singing "My Heart Will Go On" and we were on the Titanic. You had just pummelled to your death by a possessed violin."

"Holy crap."

"Yep."

"Did I say anything else?"

"Oh, nothing much," Jeanette shrugged. "Just that you wanted me to have your babies," she added quietly, biting her knuckle's so she wouldn't burst into wailing laughter.

A shrill, high pitched scream left Simon before his clawed hand's flew to his mouth. His eyes went large as pure horror filled them. That scream did it for Jeanette. Booming laughter escaped her, pulling the air from her lungs until she was heaving and gasping for air.

"Shut up," Simon said quickly. "Shut up, you're joking-"

Jeanette finally calmed herself, grasping her aching ribs. "Nope," she chuckled. "Sorry, Romeo."

Simon began to hyperventilate. Jeanette rolled her eyes and punched him in the shoulder. "Ow!" the munk hissed. "That's not nice!" Jeanette gave him a look and said, "Don't freak about it, okay? You _were _higher than a satellite, ya know."

_Now or never Seville!_

_No, it's not! LIE! Lie like a rug!_

_But I don't even like rugs-_

_DO IT!_

Simon winced. "I'm freaking out because it's true," he said quietly. He glanced over at Jeanette. Her expression was still blank. His eyes widened, his arms waving. "No, no! Not that part about the babies!"

"I know that!" Jeanette interrupted with a light scowl.

"Oh."

Jeanette huffed and clicked the TV off. She stretched and yawned. "Well, since you've already had your little confessional, you can count on Brittany scaring the ever living life out of Alvin tomorrow by saying the one thing that he fear's the most."

"But you didn't say it."

"That wasn't the deal," Jeanette explained. _"I _had to get _you _to say you loved me."

"First off, I never said it," Before the chipette could say anything, Simon added, "And secondly, what am I supposed to about my dilemma with Alvin?"

Jeanette shrugged. "I've already said it."

"What?"

"I told you I loved you after you confessed to me."

Simon craned his neck. "What? No, you didn't!" Jeanette smirked slowly. "Yes, I did." She began to back away slowly. "No, you did not," the munk replied, stalking her on his hands and knee's. Jeanette nodded, hopping onto thearmrest of the couch with a sly grin. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I did." Simon laughed airily. "Uh, well I am pretty sure you did not!"

"Did to."

"Did not."

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"Did-"

"Oh, forget this!" Simon exclaimed before curling himself down with a wild grin. Jeanette's eyes went wide. The munk suddenly gave a war cry and pounced at her. The chipette gave a squal as she flew over the armrest and gave a long leap down to the floor.

During their chase they passed by Toby, who had his iPod in hand as he did a Moon Walk attempt. He paused his jam session to stare after the blue and purple blurr's that zommed across his feet.

After blinking rapidly, he shrugged and continued to sing in a high, off-key voice.

_"Another one bites the dust! Another one bites the dust! And another one gone, and another one, another one bites the dust! Hey, I'm gonna get you too, another bites the dust!"_

**888**

**Not sure why I desided to name this story after that song. Guess it's the song that goes through Alvin's head when he think's about saying...**_**the L word**_**:)**


End file.
